#3
We can’t be friends. You have tried and I have tried to shoot down your attempts. And now that you’ve told me you’re over me, it makes me…hurt? I was over you a long time ago. I had blocked you. I was able to stop texting you with help of you not responding. And then out of nowhere you…miss me? Want to share your happiness with me? And when I rebuke your efforts all of a sudden you’re…over me? I will not play ping pong with our hearts. It’s confusing and emotionally draining. And now, you’re gone to relish in your happiness. And I, am still here in the place you left me when you decided I wasn’t productive towards your pursuit of happiness. I wasn’t. I had my own demons tearing me down. And now I haven’t stopped crying since I angry drunk texted you only to see you off the next day as if it never happened. And I have been trying to decide whether I’m sad because you’re dreams are coming true without me, or jealous because my happiness has yet to come, or angry because I was fine without you, yet you decided to pop up for your closure.
Either way, we can’t be friends and you don’t get that. I don’t have the sanity to do so. I do not want to feel obligated to do so in hopes of changing your perspective of me as a “terrible woman.” A future friendship will not fix a past relationship. I am not sorry, I decline to be your friend.
